Love

Have you ever been in love?

Horrible, isn’t it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ’maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

I'm dreaming of a white christmas

I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know

You're the one I want to be kissing under the mistletoe

Dear Santa,

I've grown up now and I don't want any more toys. I loved all the years where I had everything I wanted under the tree. I know I should be grateful. I truly am, but this year I don't another toy I'll never play with again. I don't want another broken heart. All I want for Christmas is my soul-mate.

Make my wish come true.
All I want for Christmas is
YOU

A few tips for everbody (including me)

1. Don’t make too much demand on people. No one is perfect.

2. Count your blessings.

3. Be ready to praise others. Praise makes one feel important. But your praise must be sincere.

4. Learn from mistakes. Don’t make the same mistake again.

5. Some misfortunes may be blessings in disguise.

6. Be kind to everyone and you'll probably be treated the same way.

7. Confess if you have done something wrong. You can have the respect of others if you do so.

8. It takes many years to foster a friendship, but it takes minutes to ruin it. Don’t ruin it.

9. Believe that you will make your mark.

10.Listening is more important than telling. The way you tell is more important than what you tell.

11. Spare some time every day to contemplate, read books or listen to some music..
12. Sometimes no comment is the best comment.

Just wanted to say, I'm sorry

To everyone. For everything. To everyone I've ever hurt in any way, I'm sorry.

I make mistakes and I can't be perfect all the time. I'm not afraid to admit I'm probably naive, and have done stupid things in the past and regretted them. I'm only 18, but I've sure screwed up in my life a lot.

I think part of getting over something and having "closure" is being cleansed. If you don't get it out of your head, it will only hover here for a good long while til it resurfaces and the old sad feelings come back. And I definitelyy don't want that to be happening.

I'm not saying I don't know specific people I should be saying this too when I say "everyone". I actually mean everyone, I could name names but I don't exactly think that's appropriate. They know who they are anyways. This is for ME.


I feel awful, completely horrible, about these things that have happened in my life recently and in the past, and even years and years ago. Thinking back, it's like what was I thinking? It's like the horrible realization when you say/do something then realize what the effects of that action is going to be right after it slips out of you. It really is a terrible feeling.


All I'm reallyyy trying to say here is, I'm sorry. I apologize for everything I've ever done to offend, hurt, or anger anyone. I know what I've done, and I'm not proud of it, for sure. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change it. But what's done is done, and everything happens for a reason.

At least, that's what I believe. So I'm taking this all as an experience, and I'm not going to stress about it anymore. I've done what I can.

I'm not perfect; no one is. But I'm most certainly not afraid to admit the faults about me and take responsibility for my actions. It's part of growing up, I think. You learn from everything. I definitely learned from this.

Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?

It's something I think about all the time. Is that why we exist? To love each other? I guess you could say that.

Think about the last great thing that happened to you: It was great because it was great to you, but was part of the reason it was great because you could share it with someone you love? You share feelings with them and they feel happy for you, maybe even just as happy as you are about this news because they're so close to you?

I went through a period in my life where someone I loved always put me down. Called me names like snob. That's still one of my least favorite words. I hated hearing that but I pretended not to care when he called me that. It escalated and it made me feel horrible about myself. I got called a rich snob all the time, stuck-up, rude to everyone, just plain not a nice person. It was terrible. And apparently it was fine to talk to me like that, and I shouldn't have gotten mad about it, and whatnot. But would you let someone talk to you like that? Didn't think so.

At that point whenever something happened, something good for once, I felt like I couldn't share it with the one I loved because I would just be called a snob. It made the whole news become a little less great. I mean, can you really experience greatness alone?


We need lovers to share our life and happiness with. Could we really live without them?

Friendship vs. love

We sacrifice friendship for love.

and I wish it was more like we risk friendship for love but it's not.

When the decision is made to take things to the next level with someone there's no looking back.

The thing I hate though is how inevitable it is.

You give yourself away to a person sometimes completely and learn/see/do/experience so many things with them to in the end only be left with memories, of what once was but will never be again. Both friendship and love. All of a sudden that person you could talk to and laugh with and have special moments with whenever and wherever is no longer that person. I mean they can't be, that would just be torture.

Things will never be the same with that person again. (as hard as you may try for them to be.)

Until you find the person your going to marry is when things change. I guess that's the one happy ending to it all. The one person you are not forced to lose.

But anything before that, no.

and it seems unfair but then again only makes sense. It's just the crappy way things work when it comes to relationships. and this thought, kind of scares me.

You never really think about it you know. I mean why would you, usually everythings good until it's not. There's no reason, the thought does seem a bit pessimistic. although I see it more as realistic.

But yeah.

So I guess you just have to jump into the fire and hope for the best. soak in and enjoy every moment and hope to be able to leave with a feeling of contentment in the end of it all. That's really all you can do.

And if it does work out...then it'll probably be the most amazing relationship of your life <3

I think I'm in love

You know that feeling where everything seems to be in it's exact place in the world?

I got that right now

You know that sensation where every time you think of that one person, chills swivel down your spine and goosebumps overload your skin?

I got that right now.

You know those thoughts you get where it's like nobody will ever, ever take his place and you'll be happy forever?

I got that right now.

You know when you have a song in your heart constantly and you want to dance every time you hear that person's name?

I got that right now.

I'm so deeply connected to you that it feels like the strings of my heart are intertwined with yours. I feel like you have the "peephole to my soul" because I can feel your eyes peering into the depths of everything I am even though you aren't looking at me.

You're quickly becoming my everything. I know I'm in love. And it's really, really scary.

Attractive-ness??

Some people say attractive people are good looking, confident, radiant, nice, friendly, respectable, rich...

But what does "attractive" really mean?

If you get asked out a lot, does it mean you are attractive?

If you don't get chased by guys at all, does it mean you are unattractive?

Can attractive people not get any dates at all?

I just wonder how people define attractiveness.

Butterflies

Cant' Breath, Nervous, Stuttering.

Tingling, Butterflies Fluttering.

Must be Dreaming, In Denial.

Standing next to you with an uncontrollable smile.

Beautiful is a understatement when it comes to you.

Your beauty is unexplainable, pure, and true.

Heartbeat Rising,Timid and shy too.

All this never would have happened without you.

Why we fail in love

We don't have to look very far to know that marriages are failing in America and most of the Western world.

If you get married today, you statistically have a higher chance of divorcing than staying together. This is sobering, and merits a good look at ourselves. Why do marriages and relationships fail?

The partial answer is selfishness. It's true that we all want to be loved, cared for, adored, and treated like we are the cream in someone's coffee. These are good and right things to want. It seems that if people would just shut up and listen to each other, we all really want the same thing. We all want the best for us.

The hard part comes when what we want doesn't match up with the thing someone else wants.

We might really think someone is wonderful and want to be with them, but they have their eye on someone else. We might want to be free to play video games for hours after work, and our wife wants to sit and talk. We might think shopping is no big deal, but our husband seems to roll over and play silent/cold/dead if he finds out where we've been. We want the same outcome, but different paths to get there. We are selfish. We want our way.

This next paragraph will go a bit further than most will want to read, but bear with me. We have to look at why we are so selfish.

Why do we fight if we want the same thing? We can't we give in?

There reason is pretty simple...we are all broken. Something in us was made to want to love others and make them happy at first, but then it broke. For a Christian like me (and maybe you), you immediately recognize this as sin... a fallen nature... the separation from God and what we were made to be. Sin has broken us.

This is the reason we are so selfish and won't ever be completely happy with anyone. Because we are all broken, we will all fail each other. That cute guy with dimples and a hot body will forget to call you. That girl who seemed so perfect also has an annoying laugh and a mother who won't butt out.

Life isn't perfect. Some people can't get past this in a relationship...they realize they can't get what they want and they leave. Never mind breaking hearts or kids who won't have a dad anymore. We have learned to serve our own selfishness.

In generations past, people realized that life wasn't perfect, but they had determined to stick it out. They learned to be happy with each other in imperfection. Life wasn't any better back then, but people choose to not give in to selfishness as much.

I'm not talking about staying through abuse, but just the everyday grating the comes from living with another imperfect person. The key to their happiness was to look past themselves, to look past their spouse, and to look to something else...either God, or a cause, or the family...or country...something else that was bigger and more important than their own immediate pleasure.

This is why premarital sex is a big deal to me. Well, not exactly just premarital. To me, it has to be an important thing you share with someone you love. Not just to "get it over with". That's also why I don't like telling people besides my closest friends if something happens. Honestly, I think besides friends you can trust, it pretty much should remain between you and your partner, does anyone else really matter?

It's not that sex is so bad (it isn't), but it's so self-serving and grasping for immediate gratification. Waiting means you are caring more about the relationship in the future (should it come to either marriage...or eventual marriage to someone else). You are saying with your body - I want you, but I'd rather not be selfish right now so that my husband or wife later can have all of me. It's a great practice for not being selfish in a marriage.

To be fulfilled in a relationship, dating, marriage...sharing a life together or a cup of coffee...we have to realize that this imperfection is mutual. If we can get past this, I think relationships will be less about being selfish and more about becoming a lover to each other...warts and all.

8 things I can't live without

1. Burt's Bees lip products
Mmm minty-ish taste. Freshhhh

2. My Macbook.
I'm on it all the time!

3. Keith Urban music
Ahhh he's so amazing!

4. Cell Phone
Duh

5. Cute shoes
Yea haha.

6. Vanilla chai :)
Best on a cold morning. Omg its soo gooooood.

7. Food
You know, just gotta have it

8. Someone to hug
Currently, the best boyfriend ever :)

Keys to an Everlasting Relationship

Our ideas of love come from places like movies, TV shows, romance novels, first kisses, first dates, friends' stories, parents' stories, etc...

We all want one or more of the following: marriage, romance, a solid relationship, compatibility, a happy and successful future, financial stability, kids, etc…

And while everyone wants something different, it's our own unique dreams and desires that keep us out there searching for our one true love.

It takes time to really get to know someone, but I think as women, we are more apt to rushing into a relationship without much thought, relying more on the passion or emotional connections from the new person in our life.

The first time you spoke to that person, chemistry probably took over. It can be over-whelming at first, but chemistry can easily be confused for love, when it's really only attraction. Attraction can blossom and become love, but be careful not the get the two mixed up.

Many of us long for that everlasting relationship, the death-do-us-part, for better or for worse, richer or poorer. What is the secret or secrets that hold those relationships together? I believe some of the secrets are as follows:

- You have to love each other with a pure love and know that no matter what life throws at you, you will be there for each other.

- You must also have respect for one another and allow each other to be who you really are.

- The unique qualities of who you are as an individual make you stronger as a couple.

Of course love has a lot to do with your relationship, but it's not the only thing a healthy relationship depends on. From the beginning, your relationship must also have a strong foundation of trust, respect, commitment, communication, etc…

Honesty is an important key for any healthy relationship - Looking into your significant others eyes while communicating with them is the best way to let them know you are being honest with them.

Life is not always easy and there's rarely a red carpet laid out, but in the middle of any storm, you must push through the tough times together to really appreciate what you have together.

If you're one of the lucky ones that has found love, then you have to be willing to accept the responsibilities that go along with it. I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH!

Even if it means putting yourself aside, and putting your wants and needs aside so that you can encourage and support your significant others goals and dreams.

There are so many things you will come to realize and learn throughout your search for love, but learn well, and when it doesn't work out the way you planned, pick yourself back up, you will someday find the one that will love you, just the way you are - if that's what you want of course.

And remember that ALL relationships require some effort and creativity to keep it alive!

Empower yourself and allow yourself to overcome the anxiety you may have about relationships so that you can build the foundation for your relationship and love on something that will help it survive. (A good start would be to build your relationship on the things I mentioned above: trust, respect, commitment, communication, honesty...)

CHEESECAKE

YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM :)

Drinking??

When people find out that I don't drink alcohol, they are usually shocked or impressed. Then they ask, “Oh, is it for religious purposes?” Is that the only reason someone doesn’t drink who is in their teens? No, I’m not Mormon

Then I get asked if I’m straight edge. I’m not a fan of the label "straight edge." I think people use it for the wrong reasons. I feel like those who label themselves as “straight edge” are doing it to suppress urges or to be “trendy.” I didn’t decide not to drink, nor do I have the urge. I just happen to be a person who doesn’t like the taste of alcohol.

Nor do I think I need to be applauded by someone telling me, "That is so impressive." Is it really? To me it's like someone who doesn't eat brussel sprouts won't eat them because they taste bad.

I'm not cutting myself off from something I once enjoyed. I'm simply not drinking beverages I don't like. Why is it so hard to imagine someone not liking alcohol? Trust me, at 18, I know a bunch of people who drink and I have yet to find one I like the taste of. If I can smell the alcohol then it completely puts me off. If a drink is successful enough to get past the smell test, I’m not a fan of the burning sensation in my throat either. I much prefer the taste of a Shirley Temple, thank you very much. Have you ever had one? Now those are delicious!

This isn’t to say I judge people who enjoy their beers or martinis. I do find it amusing when I have to recount a person’s actions to them the previous morning. I don’t really understand the joy in not remembering a single thing you did the night before. But that’s just me. No, I’m not a prude. I will lose my inhibitions from time to time. I just don’t need alcohol in order to do so. All I need is a sugar high and my best friend around to be a goofball.

I don’t ever feel like I decided to not drink. I just stuck with what tasted good to me. Yet people literally are taken aback when they find out. Is it really that shocking? Or should it be that shocking?

Combating the wintertime blues

While summertime blues usually come by way of short-lived romances, wintertime blues, however, can be far more insidious. Living in Massachusetts, the cold is second only to the ridiculously short days (it's pitch black by 5pm...5pm!)

Thankfully, there are products out on the market that do help to ease the sadness associated with the change of the seasons, such as light therapy (through specially designed lamps and bulbs).

I can soooo wait for this winter to start :(

Exes and Defriending on Facebook

You find yourself dating this amazing person. You love them with all your heart and hope to marry them. Now that wonderful perfection lasts for however long until one day, it all starts going downhill. That ride down the hill might last a few months or even a couple of years.

In the end, you and your "soul mate" go separate ways, but continue to be connected through Facebook.

You don't say anything to each other, but every now and then, you look to see what's going on with him or her. Maybe you're not over them and Facebook stalking them. In other cases, you're just curious and hardly ever look.

Now imagine one day, you get a notification or something, that leads you to their site... Hmm, that's weird, why are you automatically on their info page instead of the wall? Why can't you look at their photos?

You look up to the top of the page and it hits you. +1 Add as Friend. What do you mean? We're already... OH.

Aughh. Never happened to me but to my friends. It annoys the crap out of me. I mean, COME ON.