Hahahaha

WOMEN AND MEN

On Nicknames
Women: If Laura, Sue, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laura, Sue, Debra and Rose.
Men: If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for lunch, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Godzilla, Shaggy, Bear and Shrek.


On Eating Out
Men: Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though
the bill is $22. None of them will have anything smaller, and none
will actually admit they want change back.
Women: When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


On Money
Women: A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
Men: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.


On Bathrooms
Women: The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Men: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, a razor,
shaving cream, a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.


On Arguments
Women: A woman has the last word in any argument.
Men: Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


On The Future
Women: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
Men: A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


On Success
Men: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Women: A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


On Marriage
Women: A woman marries a man expecting him to change, but he doesn't.
Men: A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


On Dressing Up
Women: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, answer the
phone, read a book, get the mail...
Men: A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


On Looks
Men: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women: Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (lol)


On Offspring
Women: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods,
and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
Men: A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


And finally...
Any married man will forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing...