Falling in love

It’s something I never imagined experiencing… not like this at least.

Growing up on fairy tales and disney princess stories where happily ever afters happen after meeting that special someone and when feelings of tingly butterflies explode after your stomach flip flops and your mind turns to mush basically manipulated my entire perspective of love.

I thought that after a few flutters of the eyelashes, overcoming a villain, and finally coming to self-realizationisms, love would just appear in front of me, and I’d be happy.

But I realized that it is totally different than that.

It’s a spark that ignites when you realize you two first have that thing you’ve been looking for in everyone else. it’s the brain mush and the heart pounding and the "are you thinking about me? I’m thinking about you" inner turmoil that thrashes your mind for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months. it’s the constant want to feel the warmth of your skin, the heat of your breath, the softness of your lips. it’s the wish to be with you always, and hope you wish the same.

And then, things change.

It’s the mistakes you made and almost losing the person forever. It’s the conflict that appears, the rise of the voice, the narrowing of the eyebrows, the furrowed lips, the tears, the crying, the I’m sorry, the mistakes, the shaking of the head.

The disappointment.

But somehow, despite all of the mishaps, the fights, the arguments, the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the trembles, you’re still thinking of them. You think of the lips, the hands, the fingernails, the hipbones, the ears, the chin, the hair, those eyes… those lovely eyes… and the smile, and you know you still want to be with that. alongside with the laughter, the grins, the hugs, the care, you realize it’s hard to be without.

And after accepting that with good times comes bad, and if after those bad times come terribly, but you still want to stick with them, then suddenly, you know.

definitely, you know.

It’s love.